Four Mediation Attempts, Four Failures, Two Community Members Lost
Total time: 19 days from hope to complete burnout.
August 30, 2025. Zoda, a trusted, core member of Noisebridge, posted an update about mediating the Elle-Cloud conflict. The tone was hopeful:
"cocomittens and I did a session with Elle and Cloud each (two sessions in total). I then did another mediation with Cloud asking her of her requests and goals from mediation. We have some workshopped goals and Cloud is now taking some time to think about those to be intentional with her asks. In the meantime, both are honoring the do not engage request while mediation is ongoing." — zoda, August 30, 2025
Both parties were cooperating. The process was working.
Two days later, Elle filed an Ask To Leave (ATL) against Cloud during active mediation. When asked why, Elle said there had to be "consequences." Zoda immediately called this "abuse of process."
Nineteen days after mediation began, zoda quit:
"I found mediation for Elle and Cloud extremely difficult for reasons hard to explain. I'm forfeiting mediation responsibilities." — zoda, September 18, 2025
The same day, in a private group chat, zoda explained what she couldn't say publicly:
"I found the whole mediation thing maddening. Bad vibes. Hope to never talk to her again. I have been sort of triggered the last few days in ways I can't really explain, but has caused me bad sleep and compulsive thoughts and I need as much space as I can get from this issue. Remind me to never do conflict mediation again." — zoda, September 18, 2025
Zoda left Noisebridge. Not just the mediation — she left the community entirely, disillusioned by its inability to address Elle's behavior.
The Pattern: One person tries to mediate using proper conflict resolution (Stage 1-2). The other person escalates to Win-Lose stages (4-6), weaponizes safety processes, and claims victimhood when challenged.
Mediation is the community's highest-level conflict resolution tool. It's the safety net when all other approaches fail — when direct communication breaks down, when community members can't resolve differences on their own, when normal conflict resolution processes aren't working.
When someone breaks the mediation process itself — by weaponizing safety tools during active mediation, burning out mediators through Stage 5-6 tactics, or making good-faith resolution impossible — they have removed themselves from the community's governance structure.
The community has no higher recourse. When mediation fails not because both parties tried and couldn't agree, but because one party weaponized the process itself, there is no next level. The person has opted themselves out of the framework that makes community governance possible.
| Date | Glasl Stage | What Happened |
|---|---|---|
| Aug 30 | Stage 1-2 (Win-Win) |
Zoda reports positive progress: "cocomittens and I did a session with Elle and Cloud each... We have some workshopped goals and Cloud is now taking some time to think about those to be intentional with her asks. In the meantime, both are honoring the do not engage request while mediation is ongoing."
Both parties cooperating. Mediation working. Zoda hopeful. |
| Sep 1 (2 days later) |
Stage 4-5 (Win-Lose) |
Elle files Ask To Leave against Cloud during active mediation. When asked why, admits: "There had to be consequences. Otherwise, she may have done the same thing, again..."
Zoda's immediate response: "I've informed her that's not what Ask To Leave is and have said this feels like an abuse of process." Safety tool weaponized for punishment. Cooperative process undermined. |
| Sep 2 | Stage 5 (Loss of Face) |
Elle defends ATL: "Describing my efforts for safety as 'abuse of process' after I have been repeatedly maligned even after calling for and agreeing to mediation and after it had begun is unfair."
When challenged, frames objection as persecution. |
| Sep 11 | Stage 5-6 (Threat Strategies) |
Zoda stands firm: "I think it was wrong of Ellen to ask for the ATL of Cloud. I stand by that."
Elle's response: "I am getting tired of being dragged into Bravespace for the same thing over and over again. I stand by the ATL and I would like a 3rd person in the mediation." Victim narrative intensifies. No acknowledgment of weaponizing process. Demands additional mediator resources after being called out. |
| Sep 18 (19 days total) |
Result (Burnout) |
Public forfeit: "I found mediation for Elle and Cloud extremely difficult for reasons hard to explain. I'm forfeiting mediation responsibilities. TJ has agreed to mediate."
Same day, Ask To Disengage from Elle: "I found the whole mediation thing maddening. Bad vibes. Hope to never talk to her again. I have been sort of triggered the last few days in ways I can't really explain, but has caused me bad sleep and compulsive thoughts and I need as much space as I can get from this issue. Remind me to never do conflict mediation again." In "mediation concerns" chat: "I've found dealing with Elle really frustrating and have begun to feel she is very unfit for Noisebridge... the last few days of mediation was the last straw for me." Mediator burnout: psychological distress ("bad sleep and compulsive thoughts"), inability to articulate what happened ("hard to explain"), complete forfeit, permanent disengagement. |
Zoda's phrase — "extremely difficult for reasons hard to explain" — makes sense through the Glasl framework. The difficulty isn't the conflict itself, but the stage jumping:
The pattern resists description because the stage doesn't match the behavior. Each individual action can be defended as Stage 1-2 ("I felt unsafe," "I need mediation support"), but the sequence and tactics are Stage 4-6 (weaponizing process, claiming victimhood, demanding resources after being criticized).
The Elle-Cloud conflict consumed mediation resources repeatedly over more than a year. Each attempt followed the same arc: well-intentioned mediators engaged in good faith, encountered something they couldn't articulate, and withdrew or burned out.
According to Cloud, the conflict began after Cloud defended Wyatt during a dispute with Elle in summer 2024. Elle then targeted Cloud, and Julius (EigenVexer) was asked to mediate.
According to Cloud, Julius "felt it was off" about the mediation.
Result: Julius sensed something wrong with the mediation dynamic and withdrew. No resolution achieved.
The second mediation attempt is documented in detail below. After Julius withdrew, zoda and cocomittens stepped up as co-mediators in August 2025.
Cocomittens, who co-mediated with Zoda, described the experience:
"I was there for at least 3 or 4 calls between the two of them" — cocomittens
"I know it started with us saying, let's not jump to conclusions, give her the benefit of the doubt" — cocomittens
"I'm afraid to offend anyone but it was quite a process, there was no real way to … it was very difficult, I still don't really know what the right thing to do would have been, but there was a lot of hostility, accusations about Zoda doing something — I don't remember what the accusations were, that's what escalated it — basically saying that Zoda wasn't a good mediator and she was biased and stuff. Which ruined the will to continue." — cocomittens
"It was beyond exhausting." — cocomittens
Result: 19 days to complete burnout. Zoda experienced psychological distress ("bad sleep and compulsive thoughts"), quit mediating, permanently disengaged from Elle, and eventually left Noisebridge entirely. Cocomittens' status unclear, but experienced the same "beyond exhausting" process.
After zoda quit, TJ agreed to take over the mediation on September 18, 2025.
Result: Zero public updates. No documented resolution. The mediation simply vanished from the record.
According to Cloud, after zoda quit and following Cloud's September ATL, Elan became involved as a mediator. Cloud had brought up Elle's behavior to Elan as early as February 2025, meaning Elan had awareness of the pattern for many months before attempting mediation.
Result: According to Cloud, the mediation process eroded trust. Cloud's relationship with Elan deteriorated, Cloud lost faith in the process, and ultimately Cloud burned out and left the community.
| Mediator | When | What Happened |
|---|---|---|
| Julius (EigenVexer) | Summer 2024 | "Felt it was off" — sensed something wrong and withdrew |
| Zoda + cocomittens | Aug-Sep 2025 | Psychological distress, "reasons hard to explain," permanent disengagement, left Noisebridge |
| TJ | Sep 2025 | Took over from zoda, produced no updates, no resolution |
| Elan | Late 2025 | Cloud lost trust, relationship deteriorated, Cloud burned out and left |
Four mediators. More than a year of effort. Multiple community members consumed. The consistent result across all attempts: mediators withdrew, burned out, or produced no resolution. The pattern couldn't be mediated because one party's behavior made good-faith resolution impossible.
On September 18, 2025 — the same day she quit mediating — zoda created a private group chat called "mediation concerns" and invited trusted community members to discuss Elle.
"Hello, I'm creating this group chat to air some of my concerns about Ellen. I've added everyone I could from the stewards channel that I recall... Through mediation, I've found dealing with Elle really frustrating and have begun to feel she is very unfit for Noisebridge. This is not an indictment, but an invite to discuss/converse. I'm hoping we can talk about it. I have already mentioned some of my concerns to some of you. Some of you have also come out to express the same to me." — zoda, September 18, 2025
"It's important to note when I started mediation, I had Wyatt, Fineline, and EigenVexer come out to me and make a statement against Elle. I wouldn't share this but they're all in this thread and have come out now, so I feel this is not a violation of any social trust.
Then, what Cloud and Julius/EigenVexer listed as her concerns were beyond the initial claim... Lastly, I read all of the thread related to the last issue that started the mediation issue a year and half ago: Wyatt and Ellen disagreeing about how carbon fiber should be cut. Initially, I still wanted to limit the issue to just Cloud-Ellen disengagement, but the last few days of mediation was the last straw for me." — zoda
"So I would frame this as beyond just me. I think if I was just having a hard time with mediation, I'd probably just take some time away. But it felt like a bigger issue. Whenever I show the smallest sign of doubt or distress around Ellen's behavior people I trust seem to echo it.
So I guess I wouldn't say we're here because Zoda is struggling with mediation. But more so it seems like a bigger issue in all of Noisebridge but no one seems to want to do the thing, to confront her. To kick her out.
I'm capable enough to handle conflicts without kicking out people, this however is beyond just my own reservations/conflicts. I think she's bad for the space according to what I've read in bravespace and heard from many of you here." — zoda, September 18, 2025
"To put it very plainly, almost anybody else who behaved the way Elle has would have been 86'ed a long time ago." — EigenVexer, September 18, 2025
Beyond burning out individual mediators, Elle's pattern created an ongoing tax on the community's conflict resolution capacity. The mediation didn't just fail — it consumed escalating resources while yielding zero resolution.
| Date | Event | Mediators Involved |
|---|---|---|
| Aug 20 | cocomittens asks for mediators in weekly meeting; zoda replies "third mediator needed -- would be most excellent !" | Recruiting for 3rd |
| Aug 30 | Mediation begins with positive cooperation | zoda + cocomittens (2) |
| Sep 1 | Elle weaponizes ATL during mediation | zoda + cocomittens (2) |
| Sep 11 | Elle demands: "I would like a 3rd person in the mediation" | Still seeking 3rd |
| Sep 18 | Zoda quits: "TJ has agreed to mediate so perhaps he will keep us updated with cocomittens if she is still involved" | TJ replaces zoda |
The request for a third mediator — made after weaponizing the Ask To Leave process, during active mediation, while maintaining "I stand by the ATL" — demonstrates a particular pattern:
When called out for abuse of process, demand more process. Frame any objection as insufficient support. Exhaust the community's conflict resolution capacity while claiming to be the victim of inadequate mediation.
The community complied. TJ stepped up. Zoda left.
Answer: Nothing. No public updates, no resolution, no closure.
After consuming three mediators, weeks of effort, and burning out a core community member to the point of psychological distress, the mediation simply... vanished.
| Period | Activity |
|---|---|
| Sep 18 | TJ agrees to take over mediation from zoda |
| Sep 19 - Dec 31, 2025 |
Zero public updates in bravespace (70 messages total, none about mediation) Zero updates in weekly meetings No resolution documented No closure provided |
The mediation that:
...produced no documented resolution.
When a mediation consumes this many resources and then disappears without resolution or closure, that's not a neutral outcome. It's evidence that the process was unmediatable — not because of the conflict itself, but because one party's behavior made good-faith resolution impossible.
TJ stepped up in good faith. The archive shows no updates. The community got no closure. The pattern continued.
Zoda didn't just quit mediating. She eventually left Noisebridge entirely, disillusioned by the community's inability to address Elle's behavior.
| What She Saw | What It Meant |
|---|---|
| Julius had already tried and withdrawn | She wasn't the first to encounter this |
| Multiple people came forward against Elle | The problem was known and widespread |
| Elle weaponized ATL during active mediation | Elle couldn't be mediated with in good faith |
| Elle admitted it was for "consequences" | Elle openly stated punitive intent |
| Community didn't act | The community couldn't protect itself |
| "No one seems to want to do the thing" | Knowledge without action is worse than ignorance |
Zoda was a core member — trusted, experienced, willing to do the hard work of mediation. She tried to help the community resolve a conflict. That attempt:
The community lost a trusted mediator and core member because she tried to help. Elle remained.
According to Cloud, the targeting began in summer 2024 after defending Wyatt in a dispute with Elle. What followed was more than a year of boundary violations, four failed mediation attempts, and ultimately burnout.
"Hey. I am not comfortable at Noisebridge anymore because of this whole thing. I don't want to be around there for a bit. After all the recurring infections, University funding, disillusionment of all the work I've put into my own security at home for the past 5 years -I am too drained." — Cloud (bedcloud), November 12, 2025
"I don't know if mediation does anything @isep, it sounds like even when I honored the mediation agreement in Sept 2025, it did nothing. It is a hostile uncomfortable environment to go to Noisebridge. You saw that physical proximity by Elle in person Elan, the microaggressions the staring, I was not making it up." — Cloud
"This whole process of seeing people harmed when on for an entire year, anytime me or someone else brings it up to the group, the person bringing it up seems to get scapegoated, attacked, ostracized, creates a hostile environment for the person going to Noisebridge." — Cloud
"And it keeps going, and going, and going to no end. Sysiphian effort on my part." — Cloud
"I don't want to be around people who I feel justify bullying.
I don't want to be around people who devalue other people's contribution." — Cloud
Cloud characterized what they perceived as the community's attitude toward the situation:
Note: These are Cloud's characterizations of what they perceived people were thinking or saying, not direct quotes from community members.
Cloud was a 5-year contributor who had "put into my own security at home for the past 5 years" for Noisebridge. After 14+ months of conflict, 4 mediation attempts, being ATL'd during active mediation, and experiencing what they described as "microaggressions" and "physical proximity" from Elle even after mediation, Cloud left.
Cloud's final assessment: The mediation process didn't help — "it did nothing." The community lost a long-term contributor because raising concerns led to being "scapegoated, attacked, ostracized."
| Person | Role | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| Julius (EigenVexer) | First mediator (Summer 2024) | "Felt it was off," withdrew |
| Zoda | Second mediator (Aug-Sep 2025) | Psychological distress, quit mediating, left Noisebridge |
| cocomittens | Co-mediator with Zoda | Status unclear after zoda quit |
| TJ | Third mediator (Sep 2025) | Took over from zoda, no documented resolution |
| Elan | Fourth mediator (Late 2025) | Cloud lost trust, relationship deteriorated |
| Wyatt | Carbon fiber dispute (Summer 2024) | Driven off, stopped coming, didn't teach class |
| Cloud | Defended Wyatt, conflict participant | 14+ months of conflict, 4 mediation attempts, burned out and left |
| Justin | Fundraising collaborator | Disengaged from fundraising-wg |
Conflict is normal in communities. Mediator burnout happens. But certain patterns indicate something beyond ordinary difficulty:
Cloud cooperated fully — and was ATL'd anyway
Normally, when both parties cooperate with mediation, resolution follows. Here, Cloud cooperated completely. Elle filed ATL anyway, explicitly for "consequences."
Safety tools become punishment tools
Ask To Leave exists for immediate safety concerns. Using it for "consequences" during active mediation transforms a safety tool into a weapon. The mediator explicitly objected: "I've informed her that's not what Ask To Leave is."
"Reasons hard to explain"
Zoda was an experienced mediator. She couldn't easily articulate what made Elle different. This is characteristic of manipulative patterns — they resist clear description because they operate through deniability and process exploitation.
"Whenever I show doubt, people I trust echo it"
Multiple people knew. Wyatt, Fineline, EigenVexer, Cloud all came forward to zoda. But each had stayed quiet individually. Only when zoda started asking did the pattern become visible.
"It seems like a bigger issue in all of Noisebridge but no one seems to want to do the thing, to confront her. To kick her out." — zoda
This is the question the community still hasn't answered.
Zoda tried to answer it by doing the work — mediating, listening, documenting. When she concluded Elle was "bad for the space" and "very unfit for Noisebridge," the community didn't act. So she left.
That's the cost: a trusted member who tried to help, burned out and gone. The person who burned her out remained.