The Event Abandonment Pattern

How Claiming Leadership Becomes Leaving Others Holding the Bag

The Pattern

Elle repeatedly positioned herself as organizer for major community events, generated initial momentum and visibility, then backed away at critical moments—leaving other volunteers to scramble and complete the work.

This is distinct from the bottleneck pattern. In bottlenecking, Elle made herself irreplaceable. In event abandonment, she made herself visible as the organizer, then became unavailable when the work needed doing.

For NB16, Elle pulled this maneuver TWICE: first abandoning the September 2025 event (scaled it back and postponed), then abandoning the December 2025 event (left others to rescue it 10 days before).

Case Study 1: Christmas Eve Potluck 2025

The pattern in miniature: Call for event, create urgency, announce it yourself, then don't show up.

Dec 19, 2025
"For 2 or more years Noisebridge has had a potluck on the 24th of December. Folks who stay in town look forward to it, at the Thanksgiving Day friendsgiving 2 folks asked if we were having it. Maybe, but the people who throw it are not around, right now. Is anyone interested in putting one together or helping get it together?" — Elle, Discord #general, Dec 19, 10:10pm
Dec 23, 2025
"Hey elves, Clauses and scrooges: Xmas Eve potluck needs an organizer, or does it? Lots of people are waiting to hear if it will be or not be. Let's decide, now. 🧑‍🎄" — Elle, Discord #general, Dec 23, 6:10am

Creates urgency: "needs an organizer," "lots of people are waiting"

Dec 24, 2025 (morning)
"Christmas Eve potluck at Noisebridge. 4-7, come as you are and bring what you like!" — Elle, Discord #general, Dec 24, 6:42am

Elle announces it herself — after saying it "needs an organizer"

Dec 24, 2025 (evening)
"Who's coming to the pot luck? <@708842820596924427> [Elle] sez she is unable to host.. I'll be there, bringing a friend.. making a potato-green bean salad." — mister_name, Discord #general, Dec 24, 9:42pm

Elle doesn't show — "unable to host" the event she announced

The Micro-Pattern

  1. Create tradition urgency ("people look forward to it")
  2. Call for others to organize ("Is anyone interested?")
  3. Create deadline pressure ("needs an organizer... lots of people are waiting")
  4. Announce it yourself (positioning as organizer)
  5. Don't show up ("unable to host")

Result: Others (like mister_name) show up anyway and make it happen. Elle gets credit for announcing it, others do the actual work. → See Credit-Taking Analysis

Case Study 2: NB16 (Noisebridge 16th Anniversary)

Elle abandoned this event TWICE: once in September 2025, and again in December 2025.

The Setup (July-August 2025)

Elle positioned herself as the primary organizer for Noisebridge's 16th anniversary event:

"Planning meeting for Noisebridge 16th Anniversary: make it sweet! Is tonight at 7" — Elle, July 31, 2025 (Discord, #nb18)
"Planning doc: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1rSBuWTwjNva97g4HjH45yopBFUdsrJU3U1-EIRnD5HE/edit" — Elle, August 1, 2025
"We are holding our 17th Anniversary event this weekend. It is a Sweet Sixteen weekend long hackathon and Sunday night Gala with Silent Auction." — Elle, December 7, 2025 (fundraising appeal)

Throughout July and early August 2025, Elle was the visible face of NB16 planning.

First Abandonment: September 13, 2025 Event

August 8, 2025 (5 weeks before planned event)

"Update: Per discussion at the Tuesday 8/5 meeting, we are ratcheting back majorly on the event on 9/13. We will still hold one but it will be more a beer and pizza fundraiser with Silent Auction and not the full party as in the planning doc. That event we will push a month into October." — Elle, Discord #nb18, August 8, 2025

What Happened

The September event was either severely scaled back or cancelled, and the "real" party was postponed—first to October, eventually to mid-December.

Second Abandonment: December 14-15, 2025 Event

After postponing from September to "October" (eventually December), 10 days before the rescheduled event, basic organizing work still hadn't been completed. Other volunteers had to step in urgently:

December 4, 2025 (10 days before NB16 gala)

"For the Gala in two weeks has anyone reached out for entertainement? I would like to reach out to some Noisebridgers and see if they'd be interested in performing but don't want to step on toes if someone is already looking into that" — Elan, Discord #nb18, 6:19am
"I think Elle has some leads and we've asked the resident electronic group and they're not planning anything till new year" — LX, 6:20am

Translation: No entertainment confirmed. No concrete plan. "Elle has some leads" = nothing booked.

Same day, 10:19pm

"We need to make this happen! so yeah this is a call that we are going to have a very important noisebridge event. We will have our Stupid Hackathon 10 aswell as our NB16 in 10 DAYS we need to Advertise" — Jet, Discord #nb18

10 days out and advertising hasn't been done.

Elle's Response: "Feeling Stretched"

"Am feeling stretched. Will be out of pocket all this weekend until Sunday fundraising mtg.." — Elle, December 5, 2025, 7:22am
"Oh wow, missed call and all because went to NB and dealt with drama." — Elle, December 5, 2025, 5:32am
"I have what may be an unpopular opinion. I think we should consolidate to a single day. Saturday. Spreading the event with so little early marketing in a high conflit weekend (so many holiday parties!) could leave us with a sparse crowd streched accross 3 days." — Elle, December 5, 2025, 7:01am

Observe the Pattern

Who Actually Did the Work

While Elle was "out of pocket," other volunteers scrambled:

OrganizerWhat They DidWhen
Elan • Reached out to musicians for Sunday gala
• Created music showcase thread
• Created volunteer spreadsheet
• Built nb.wtf/16 shortlink
• Updated wiki with volunteer positions
• Coordinated multiple work sessions
Dec 4-5
LX • Emergency planning meetings (voice chat)
• Volunteer coordination
• Scheduling performances
• Room logistics
Dec 4-5
Jet • Took lead on Stupid Hackathon
• Advertising push
• Emergency planning meetings
Dec 4-5
Yuki (yukinimo) • Event logistics coordination
• Volunteer coordination
Dec 5-14

The Evidence: Emergency Coordination Messages

"thinking of some plan/work sessions tonight and tmrw" — LX, Dec 4, 10:38pm
"I can come by tonight at 8pm to come work it out together" — Jet, Dec 4, 10:46pm
"I'm online tonight in voice chat if we want to do a meeting soon" — LX, Dec 5, 3:59am
"Open tasks that need people to take lead on: https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/NB16#Volunteer_Positions_needed_during_the_Anniversary_Weekend" — Elan, Dec 5, 4:48am

These are panic messages. People working late nights and early mornings to salvage an event that should have been on track.

After the Event: Critique Without Acknowledgment

After others rescued NB16, Elle returned with extensive critiques—but no acknowledgment of who did the work:

"That was an amazing event and I really loved it. I am filled with joy at having being around such brilliance this weekend." — Elle, December 15, 2025 (after the event)
"But, but, but...promising a gala party but then holding people in a set of lectures that lasted until 11 pm on a Sunday? That is so Noisebridge" — Elle, December 15, 2025
"My friends who came and brought friends may never speak to me again" — Elle, December 15, 2025
"Having performances during the day. Pushing all the live music to one spot on the schedule and at the end meant it could fall off, like it did. I am sad having missed all of it. Live music is the best music." — Elle, December 15, 2025

What's Wrong With This

The Cost

The Double Abandonment Impact

By abandoning the same event twice, Elle:

Type of CostEvidence
Volunteer Burnout Elan, LX, Jet, yuki working emergency hours 10 days before event
Degraded Event Quality "so little early marketing" — Elle's complaint about her own organizing timeline
Invisible Labor No public credit to actual organizers in Elle's post-event reflections — See Credit-Taking Analysis
Post-Event Critique Extensive criticism of event execution without acknowledging emergency rescue work

How This Pattern Works

  1. Call for Event / Create Urgency

    "People are waiting," "needs an organizer," tradition framing

  2. Claim Visibility

    Position yourself as organizer through announcements, planning docs, and repeated mentions

  3. Defer Critical Work

    Meetings happen, plans are discussed, but booking, advertising, and concrete deliverables don't materialize — See Bottleneck Pattern

  4. First Abandonment: Scale Back or Postpone

    "Ratcheting back majorly" — blame unspecified meeting discussions, postpone to later date

  5. Become Unavailable at Crunch Time (Again)

    "Feeling stretched" / "out of pocket" / "dealt with drama" when the final push is needed for the rescheduled event

  6. Others Scramble

    Emergency coordination by people who don't want the event to fail

  7. Return With Critique

    Post-event analysis of what "we" should do differently, without crediting those who saved it

  8. Repeat

    The pattern occurred with both Christmas potluck and NB16 (twice)

Why It's Damaging

Invisible Rescue Work

When Elle is the visible organizer but others do emergency work to save the event, those others don't get credit—because from the outside, it looks like Elle's event succeeded.

Learned Helplessness

"No one came to the fundraising meeting" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: people learn that helping Elle means doing invisible work and getting criticized anyway.

Pattern Fatigue

Once the pattern is recognized, people avoid volunteering. Better to let someone else be left holding the bag.

Collaboration Disincentive

No credit given to helpers makes future collaboration unappealing, creating a self-reinforcing cycle.

Contrast: What Accountable Event Leadership Looks Like

Elle's PatternAccountable Leadership
Announces for months, defers concrete work Books venues, performers, and vendors early with confirmed dates
"I have some leads" 10 days before event "Here are our 3 confirmed performers and backup list"
"Feeling stretched, out of pocket this weekend" "I need to step back, can someone take lead?" OR stays present through crunch time
Post-event: "My friends may never speak to me again" Post-event: "Huge thanks to Elan, LX, Jet, and yuki who made this happen"
"We should do X differently next time" "Here's what I learned about my capacity limitations for next time"
"No one came to my meetings" "I'm investigating why turnout was low—here's what I found"

Key Lessons

  1. Visibility ≠ Accountability

    Being the public face of an event is not the same as doing the organizing work

  2. Claiming Credit Creates Obligation

    If you position yourself as organizer, you're responsible for delivering—or explicitly handing off — See Credit-Taking Analysis

  3. Pattern Recognition Kills Volunteering

    Once people notice the abandonment pattern, they stop helping

  4. Credit Those Who Rescue

    If others save your event, acknowledge them publicly and specifically

  5. Critique Requires Standing

    You lose the right to extensively critique an event you abandoned

  6. "No One Helps Me" Is Often Self-Inflicted

    When you don't credit helpers, don't respect their time, and critique their work—they stop showing up